A Dream, A Fighter, A Dream Maker

      I had a bad weeks recently. About my performance. I posted below was my essay, was crap. (though i have been told to use may terrible but i insist. Nothing could describe my feeling now T_T ) 
      Schools always conduct a creation of students' creativity and abilities. But the way they teach is a way, only way to produce machine. We are the machine, to be honest, we have been de-creativity. Ways and styles are given, I do not have a chance to learn from mistakes (Too much mistakes, my thought.)
       I know sometime I might be too subjective, but that is me. :)
     

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      To study in college has been my main objective throughout my whole life. It has been my heart's desire. I has been told that college life is great and wonderful, satisfied and precious,  but also lies the hazards too. Indeed, before I came to the school, I had been told about the beautiful scenery, great department and faculty of NSYSU. The glorious green mountain and the vast blue ocean with tender wind blew on my face, impressed me.Besides, the Department of Foreigner Language And Literature has strength and quality. A few months later, I have learned a lot. Admittedly, the backbone of the department--faculty which offers us a comprehensive and educational system, giving us an atmosphere of English learning. But to me, I am weak in almost everything, having limited grammatical knowledge, using ordinary vocabulary, talking in alien pronunciation. Among the courses I have taken, writing class is the most challenging, stressful, and almost brings me down. My confidence had been being weakened when after a few discussion of our essay. My performance was crap, word choice was unwise, and style was awful. I knew my weakness and I did not need anyone to point out how awkward I was. When I was reminiscing about the reason why I came to this department, I found that I was not intimately acquainted with my subject. When I struggled, always, an idea flashing through my mind, talked to me steadily: Keep it on. Positively, I must keep on moving. Thanks to the difficulties I had overcome, thanks to the magnificent surrounding of our campus, I have faith to face the challenges. Doubtless to say, our lecturers set us a target or a goal to make our professions more competitive. Our lives are not defined by limits. I strongly believe that a tremendous pressure creates a strong ability. instead of getting off this status, to enjoy it, is the way to against it. If my desire brought me here, then my faith could bring me through.

I am a dream, just beginning.

Our lives are as weak as a grass but strong as a grass too

Our lives never follow according to the script.

They do not give us any sight to predict an event.

They do not give us an opportunity to make a mistake up.

They don't.

We are only flesh and blood, like anyone else.

We'll get emotional easily

Sometimes we might be wounded due to our carelessness.

As teenagers, they are active, curious and also impulse.
They are young and yet enough to know what is a existence, or living meant and so do I.
I often shared them my experiences as I am the eldest one, I believe I should be like a big brother.
I had missed a chance to take care of my real brothers who are now grown independently. We do not play or talk like we used to have, it had already gone.

Sometimes they might being incorrect on their thought or action, psychically or physically.
I mean, sometimes I do admire or envy someone's wealth, cleverness, beauty, abilities . . .
Sometimes we can't even control ourselves being rude or aggressive to someone due to our envious, or showing off something obviously that would really cause us in danger, but we'll  never notice.

I had had it.

Fly, fly little wings.

         To make a tribute to someone, they were my family, my friends whom passed by my life line. Your absence does not panic me more, but helping me know that to cherish every each day I've treasured.
          May you go with God and live in a happy paradise.
          Go, go find the way that angles sing.

I will remember you by Sarah Mclachlan